Quick, to the slutcave!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize