Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
