Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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