What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
