Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
