so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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