5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
