My friends, they love my intelligence
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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