It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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