So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
