Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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