why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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