new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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