please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
two words...techno handjob
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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