If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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