Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
