He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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