saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
