i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
