i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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