Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
