I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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