Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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