I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Houston, we have a blender
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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