The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I touched a dick in church today
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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