No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize