If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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