Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
