The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
