ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
