FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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