Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while