I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.