I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.