totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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