You work out of a Hotel?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
