where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
