I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So here I am, sexting at work.
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