Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
