He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
