He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
