problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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