just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
