he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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