Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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