Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize