D3 body, D1 cock
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
