Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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