I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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