she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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