Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
