shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
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I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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