You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
