why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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