I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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