I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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