I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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