So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
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took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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