She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
