Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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