Whoa Z and x make the same sound
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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